You make, all things work together for my good.

Over the past few weeks in our house, which we share with 7 other Khmer girls we've been having slight cultural clashes which have affected both me and Aurore, but especially myself. In Cambodia it isn't at all offensive or rude to make comments about someone else's weight and therefore all the time we would get comments from the girls saying we were eating too much or we were fat and that's not beautiful. Yes it was that blunt. Obviously coming for Britain and never living in anything other than a English society, even though I'd been prepared for this type of thing by World Horizons before I came, it was such a massive shock to me, especially because of my past issues surrounding food, weight, eating etc etc which some of you may or may not be aware of. 

However during the time when I was suffering with eating problems and afterwards when God was rescuing me from it. I kept asking him "Why me?! Why did I let this to happen to me? It has done nothing but cause problems and pain from start to finish, and I hate this part of me!" He would reply by telling me that one day  he would make it so I could use thing horrible part of my life for the good of others.

I hadn't thought about this promise he'd said to me such a long time ago until this week when I finally shared with the girls about how much their comments had an affect on me and how they shouldn't look at others or themselves in that way. That even though that kind of talk is accepted in Cambodia it is not as children of God how we're called to act. We're called to love, and we are called to be better, to stand out from whatever culture we are in.

So after all these years, I'm starting to fully realise the truth of the verse "...we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28) Fact!

I decided to write this blog really just to say thank you to Him for how he's taken such an awful thing from my life and in his crazy brilliance managed to make it work out for the good of others. That now this part of me that I hated so much actually has purpose. 

So people pleaseeee continue to trust and believe, push in and press on, never give up on Him, for he will take places you can barely even imagine and your life in Him will be so much more than you'd ever dare hope. 

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

Amen

Two Weeks in Thailand

Since I've managed to survive 3 months in Cambodia our treat was a 2 week break so we chose to go to Thailand and I'm soooo glad we did. It was amazing!

Many people kept telling us how different it is from Cambodia but I just kept thinking, "How different can it really be? Its like 12 hours away!" I could not have been more wrong. As soon as you enter Bangkok you can see instantly how very different it is. Bangkok is what you would class as a typical capital city, basically it is HUGE, and it built for tourism.

We arrived just in time for the start of Songkran festival (Thai New Year) and it was safe to say at the time we had no idea what we were in for. We were aware of the ritual of a supposed water fight and people getting covered in a white paste however we thought the participants may a maximum of around 2. It actual fact it was probably more closer to 2000. The streets were packed, the music was blasting from around noon, and you couldn't escape being drowned in water. Basicalllllyyy the best street party ever! I strongly suggest this New Year tradition comes to the UK.

Me and Aurore among the Songkran craziness

The next day, loving being tourists again far too much, we hit the zoo! It only cost around $3 and there was so much too see. I have not been to a zoo in years and year (unless you count the one at Flamingo Land, which lets face it no-one does). And to top it off I got to feed a giraffe!

Next we were off down south, we had a rocky start as the minivan that we had paid close to $13 had not turned up. We were meant to leave at 9:00am and it was getting close to 20 past we me, Aurore and a Spanish and Mexican couple who were in the same situation decided we'd better try and ask someone what was the bes thing to do. Luckily a nice woman at a travel agency rang the number on our receipt and sorted the whole issue. Thank you God! And an even nicer surprise was that the other couple decided to come to the same place we were going. Finally an hour later than planned we were off to our 2nd destination.

Prachuap Khiri Khan is known by pretty much zero tourists and also we found not many Thai, unless you are from that area. However it is one of the nicest, most relaxing places with a gorgeous beach and temple at the top of a hill with views that are amazing! It was a really relaxing 5 days but I have to say our unexpected trip to the infantry camp was one of my highlights. Our phrase for the whole time we were there was, "What are we doing here?!" After a while walking around and trying to communicate that we wanted to go to the place to be taught how to shoot we finally made it to our destination and we still weren't really sure how we'd ended up there. It was one of the most surreal and fun experiences I've had and I have to say we weren't too bad at shooting either.

Would never thing it was my first time at using a gun would you! 

 Overall Prachuap was a beautiful place and gave us the chance to explore, relaxing and meet a whole load of interesting people. Plus our guesthouse was full full full of French people so it gave Aurore a chance to practice her French.

Here are just a few photos from our earlyyy morning walk up 396 steps to capture sunrise at the top of a hill. It was ridiculous, but it was so so worth it. I was truly blown away and awestruck by the beauty of God's creation.






















For our final destination before heading back to Bangkok we were heading up north again to a city called Kanchanaburi. Ever heard of The Bridge Over the River Kwai, well yeah, this is were that is. During this trip I got to go swim in some of the most beautiful waterfalls, ride on an elephant, go bamboo rafting, and ride of the "Death Railway" as well as visiting The Bridge Over the River Kwai, the War Museum and having time to get a massage, relax in our swimming pool and eat some of the best food ever! It honestly was one of the best 6 days of my life. I loved every minute of it!

Once again just a few photos to try and capture the time we spent in Kanchanaburi.

After this we headed back to Bangkok and finished our time by going to south east Asia's largest water park. It was the best way to end the trip by just having fun!







It was amazing how managed to fit in so much in just 2 weeks, it felt like we were there for ages but at the same time it went so so quickly. Also I'm so thankful to God for guiding and protecting us the entire time as we never had any major problems and it always seemed like people just turned up out of nowhere to tell us which direction to take or which bus to get. I'm starting everyday to realise more and more that life in general, no matter what we are doing is such a great testimony to how God never leaves us and he goes with us everywhere no matter what the circumstance. For this alone I will be eternally grateful to Him.

Easter...something of most importance!

So it’s now the time leading up to Easter, this is the time where Christians are called to remember the death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ and what all of that means for our lives. Doing this is something that Paul in 1 Corinthians calls “most important”. Considering 75% of Christian teaching in the New Testament comes from Paul you would think we might pay a bit of attention to him. Yet it has come to my attention that, even for me personally, I spend more time waiting for Christmas and all that comes with that season. I find this funny because as I’ve been recently looking more into the cross, death and resurrection I’ve found out that many times in the bible we’re asked to remember Christ’s death until the day he returns however not once in the bible are we asked to remember the birth of Jesus! Crazy right!

I’m not going to give you a big theology lesson on the cross and explain why it had to be that way and what it does mean to you. However if you’re interested I strongly recommend that you go to http://www.thevillagechurch.net/resources/sermons/#series-sort_the-cross and listen to Matt Chandlers series on the cross it made me view the topic in a very new and real way and made me see for the first time what Paul was talking about and it really is most important.

All I am going to say on this topic is that for a long long time I thought it was what I did that made God love me and secured my salvation and relationship with him. I ended up getting so frustrated with myself because I couldn't seem to live up to this “Christian life” that I was meant to have. I’ve been starting to realise over this past year that I don’t have to do, how can I when it’s already done! As Jesus himself said, “It is finished!” So I can be truly happy, free and joyful in the fact that my justification before God does not come from my own doing. Not in saying the right thing, doing the right thing, not in going to church, not in not swearing and not getting drunk but because of CHRIST! It is grace that sets us free and grace alone. It is a gift that is no-where near deserved but given out of the purest form of love from the author of love himself. As Matt Chandler says “It is the resurrection of Christ that justifies!” All the wrath that was meant for us was taken out on him; it’s all gone! Now all he sees when he looks at us is blameless, guilt free sons and daughters and there is nothing that can separate us from his love. (Read more about this in Romans 8! I have completely fallen in love with this chapter of the bible.) The best thing is we didn't do anything, so all the glory goes to God as it should be!

I could go on as there is sooooo much more amazing stuff that I have learned about this topic but I think even that alone is enough to make it worthy of our attention, especially at this time of year, and for it to be not just remembered but celebrated!

So, this year maybe spend time with family and friends, eat chocolate (I know I will be) but most of all do something to remember and celebrate the death and resurrection of Christ. Maybes read about it in a bible or listen to the sermons I suggested or even watch the Passion of the Christ whatever you do don’t let this time pass by like any other. We are called to remember it and it is what is most important.

Happy Easter everyone!
Helen xoxo

Can you believe its been two months?!

What is actually going on?! Time is going so quickly! I've been living in Cambodia for 2 whole months now, it still sounds very crazy to me that I'm even here at all!

Firstly I just want to say a massssssive thank you to everyone that supported me in prayer and financially I never would have made it this far without any of you! I've seen so many things in 2 months. My mind has been broadened in terms of culture and life style and also realised how very English I am (don't know whether this is good or bad thing).
Even though in the western world I may be classed as being "working class" we really are very rich in many ways, now even just having a fridge, cold water and an actual bed are what I now call luxuries! So as you can see a lot has changed.

I've met some amazing people and love the girls I live with and the girls at morning star very much. Teaching with Beracah boys and girls (students aged 17+) is honestly so much fun! We've just been teaching them an English worship song called You are holy (Prince of Peace). I love singing and getting the chance to do it with them and seeing how much they open up and enjoy it is amazing. Singing, dance and art are definitely the keys of opening up this country and really being able to get to know the people. As I love two out of those three things, I'm starting to why God called me to work in this country...not forgetting the other obvious reason that one of their favourite things to do is eat...all the time just like me. However their use of chilli is far too excessive, but after two months they're used to my English ways and it’s just become something of a big joke with everyone in the house.

All of us girls celebrating Nara's last night in the
Beracah house! 

Me and Aurore with the Beracah boys and World Horizons Cambodia AND the
American teams!

We had a massive break through a few weeks ago with Aurora finally being able to access her money and important uni emails being sent to me all on the same day! God is good!

Also we have been joined in Phnom Penh by the American team connected with World Horizons. It’s been such a blessing and great fun being able to spend time with them and getting to know them for the short time they were here. We spent a lot of time eating...not all of the food was what you’d normally have on a day to day basis this includes trying cricket, fertilized duck egg, frog, and spider...yes I actually managed to eat a full spider, and if you don’t believe me there are various photos and videos to mark the trip.  They were all a lot better than I had imagined in my head. However, apart the cricket which me and Aurore love strangely enough, I doubt I’ll be having any of them on regular basis! Oh and also I did eat the head of some sort of small bird for $10 from Kris Keating (Field Leader for World Horizons USA) ...still not at all sure it was worth the money. It was vile. Never again.

Phnom Penh Riverside specialty - cricket, spider, cockroach,
frog and many more

Me holding a spider I was meant to eat.
My face says it all.

But moving on from all the strange foods we ate, they also brought Christmas to Phnom Penh and presented us all with gifts! I was so so so so happy to have a jar of Nutella and Mike and Ikes among other sweets AND my very own World Horizons t-shirt. Thank you so much American team! You’ve blessed us so much by making the effort to come all the way here.

Me absolutely buzzing cause I have Mike and Ikes and Nutella!
Thank you American team!

A few weeks ago I got the chance to go to one of the boys from Beracah's home in the country with some of the other boys and girls from Beracah. It was so nice to get to see a different side of Cambodia that wasn't the city and to see where the people that now feel like family to me grew up. It was such a good day to spend with friends and in true Khmer style the family provided more than enough food to last us all for the week!

Friends have a good afternoon in the corn fields.
(Not exactly an every day occurrence in England) 

Local children helping to cook corn
in the corn field.

Gonna miss being able to drink coconut milk
all the time so much!

I'm looking forward to what will happen in the next few weeks and what new opportunities are going to present themselves as I'm sure many will. As I'm becoming aware time here seems to go very very quickly so please pray that I take up any opportunity that comes my way! Also pray that I with keep on reading the bible and trusting God when things here get hard. As you have read above trusting in Him really does make a difference, this is something I'm learning so much more about but it’s very hard so pray for perseverance! Finally next month we will be going to Thailand for a 2 week break, please pray that we're safe on our journey and all practical things such as getting to hotels, travel and heath. 

Thank you again so much for all the support from family, friends and everyone in Middlesbrough Community Church.

Hope everyone is well!
Helen xoxo

Do not worry about anything ; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. (Philippians 4:6)

South East Asia Retreat!..so much more than a blessing

Beautiful view from our retreat centre in Kampot

Sooo luckily for me and Aurora we got to go on a retreat just over 2 weeks into being in Cambodia! We didn't really know what to expect of this trip but even before going I could sense it was going to something special and was highly looking forward to it.

We started on a journey to the province of Kampot and a few hours in it actually started to rain!! Seriously everyone was so shocked it was the funniest thing ever, I actually had to take a picture. Coming from a place where it rains 90% of the time you would never think I would be this happy but it was just a little reminder of home so I was very grateful.

We stayed a retreat centre in Kampot owned by a lovely couple called Jean Paul and Donna and their two children Josh and Sarah. Josh (18) actually made most of the food and I have to say it was amazing!! Sarah (17) also helped to cater for us and was working so much to make sure we had the perfect time. I couldn't really thank the family enough; they honestly helped the team so much during the time we were there.

Within the team as I could sense there were things that needed to be talked through and sorted and it kind of seemed like God had placed this retreat at exactly the right point so people could do this and let go of things and move on (myself included in this). It just felt like a place that was filled with the presence of God and I don’t think anyone could deny that.
Even now I’m so amazed at the grace of our God. That time after time you can come before him and lay things down and that he always seems to pick us back up and helps to become stronger, more refreshed and able to carry on when we thought we couldn't  completely forgiven! Amazing right? That’s what you call love. As the artist Chris Tomlin said “You see the depths of my heart and you love me the same. You are amazing God!”

For me the Kampot South-East Asia retreat was the time for new starts, re-commitment, a time to let things go and a time to be built up. What kept coming back to me was to start not just wanting change but to need it. I felt God was saying that want will get you far but need will get you further. That you can often change what you want if it’s too hard to get it or you change your mind and think you can live without it but if you need something there is no doubt whether you can live without it, even if you try to tell yourself you can its always in the back of your mind and that’s what makes the difference and will help you reach your goals. (Hope that makes some sense!)

After all this giving things over to God and having a pretty intense few days the girls had a well need massage session

Overall the retreat was amazing, and I loved being able to spend the time with the members of the team and getting to know them and be there for what I’m sure will be considered a key point for the team in the future.

(On the way back from Kampot)
The everyday craziness of Cambodia! Yes, literally everything is considered possible

P.s. Can you believe I've been here over a month now! Can't get over how quickly everything is going!

Sorry there aren't all my photos on here, they're all on Facebook as that is the easiest place for me to put them however my plan is to make an album with photos in when I get back so for those of you who don't have access Facebook I'd be very happy for you to look through it when it's made :) 

Hope all is well back home!

Helen
xoxo

Cambodia - Week 1...The Journey Begins

First arriving in this unknown place there was a definite sense of anticipation, uncertainty and to be honest quite a bit of shock at myself. I was actually here in Cambodia, a trip that had been only talked about and imagined previously and now I was actually here...and I would be staying here for 6 months! I must be crazy right?!

Me and Aurore (another gapper) arrived in Phnom Penh, Cambodia at 12:00pm on January 17th (Local time, GMT +7hrs) and been travelling for 30 hrs by this point. Thankfully our journey had been pretty smooth coming over and no trouble along the way. Driving back in the traditional transport of a Tuk Tuk I got my first glimpse of Cambodian night life which I have to say for the capital was quiet and nothing even in comparison to Saturday night in Middlesbrough town centre. However going out to any sort of club or bar is not culturally accepted at all and many of these people going out are very much classed as outcasts, and scandals within society.

The second thing that hit me was just the amount of poverty even in the capital city it was so obvious and on show that people needed help but didn’t seem to know how to help themselves. It hit me all at once that where I had come was thousands of miles away from the comfort of England and my home town in every way possible.

Boy selling food by the riverside to make
to make money for family.

Over the next week we had various trips to different parts of the city and saw day to day life and let me tell you it is busyyyy! Everything is chaotic and messy and unorganised and hot!! everything that I realised isn't me in any way. I love to have structure and some sort of order or plan or sense to things and from the traffic to the way of life and religion of the majority there is none of that. We met children as young as 3 selling items on the street to get some money, why in today’s world this is acceptable or becoming the norm in places like this is something I don’t think I’ll ever understand. Even right up to teenagers they are, like Britain, very unhappy with the way they look and many girls have commented on how beautiful I am because I’m white and how they’re not beautiful. If only they knew that the fact is they were created in the image of God, the most beautiful thing in life.

So as you can see there is a lot of healing that has to be done here and thank God that a lot of people want to help this country and God is sending people to this field whether it be short term like me or a life calling I strongly believe God uses every person to sew something into at least one life just simply by showing a light and showing the love that some of these people have never experienced before. World Horizons and their team here in Cambodia is one of many organisations here working to help the people of Cambodia. 

Some of the ways the World Horizons team are doing outreach is through a children’s orphanage called Care for Cambodia (CfC) where they have been taking in children that have been abandoned by their parents/guardians some being through very traumatic lives even though they’re only so young. The orphanage brings them to a place of safety where they will know they’re loved, as well as medical care, clothing, food and education provided. Secondly there is Beracah which is set up to house teens/young adults who have come to the city from different provinces for education and had no-where to stay, they have their own church, which I now will also will be going to and for a group of people of which not all are believers they are so lively and happy during they worship. Finally there is morning star which teaches children in the area English and music and also aims to bring the Christian message to the kids. 

*This is not a child from within the CfC orphanage

I’ll be involved in all of these projects in some way as well as helping with a project to do with human trafficking at some point. So as you can guess busy busy busy! 

Soooo as guessed there are prayer points...
1. I live with the Beracah girls so it would be great for my relationship with them to grow as the weeks go on
2. That God will give both me and Aurore inspiration of the right thing to teach and best way to teach it for the students
3. That I will get passed the stage of missing home and people so much and will enjoy the time I’m here as much as possible.
4. That I will speak up if there is a problem and learn to be open with the team.
5. For the team themselves – day to day life here seems highly stressful for foreigners especially if you aren’t very capable in the language and there seems to be a lot of stress within the team at the moment due to different decisions that need to be made. So pray that the stress will be released, that the retreat next week will run smoothly and that people in the team will communicate feelings and thoughts in the best way possible and they will always remember what their main focus of this mission and what the centre of their lives should be.

I love and miss all friends back in the England/Wales/USA....and any other country I can’t think of.

Helen
xoxo